Unexpected Surprises: When the Rug Gets Pulled Out From Under Us

Change is tough--especially when it’s least suspected.  A diagnosis of cancer, the unexpected death of a loved one, an instant job layoff when things seem to be going smoothly—such life events shake us to our core. It’s as if we’re dancing on the stage one minute and suddenly someone dropkicks us to the cold hard floor.  If you’ve watched my story on angiespady.com, you know that I, too, have endured some tough battles and didn’t escape unscathed.

But what about those events we see coming? Not only do we hear that scary change train barreling ‘round the bend, but we see it approaching full steam ahead with no slowing down in sight. Regardless of how hard we try to prepare ourselves, we know there’s a good possibility that we’re about to feel crushed, almost beyond recognition.

I’m not sure which is worse, knowing hard times are coming, or for change to pop up like some darn-awful jack-in-the-box.  In my humble opinion, both stink big time.

Let’s face it , most of us don’t like change because it forces us to give up control.  

Hmm. There’s that.

Can you relate?

  • You wonder why you prayed that your baby would transition quickly from crawling to walking. What were you thinking?
  • You kid isn’t a kid anymore and gets their driver’s license. You’ll never sleep soundly again until you know they’ve reached their destination safely—regardless if they’re 16 or 36.
  • You lose your job and feel like you’re totally starting over, trying to stand toe to toe with millennials. How do they remember everything so darn easily?
  • From daily stress to drenching night sweats, menopause or “the change” almost gets the best of you.  If men had to endure this, they would definitely “pause” and give up.
  • You feel sick inside as you prepare to tell your aging parent that their car keys must be taken out of fear they could get hurt or hurt someone. You pray they’ll forgive you and understand.
  •  While you once received compliments on your thick hair, you’re now looking for a pretty wig after months of chemotherapy. You try with everything in you to pretend it’s normal, knowing full well you can no longer be an actress.  
  • You move your grown child into their college dorm, positive there’s no way they should seriously be considered “grown.” You leave campus fighting back tears, praying the same prayer as when they started first grade: that they'll be safe, makes friends easily, and get good grades.                                

Adapting to life’s changes doesn’t come easily.  After five years of living in beautiful Taos, I recently made the decision to move 40 minutes south to Santa Fe. Due to drive time and increasing responsibilities, I met with a realtor and found a home in which we hope to move into in October. Although I’m super excited about moving closer to my favorite shops,  grocery stores (Hello Trader Joe’s!) as well as the airport, I’m going to miss my Taos house. My gardens, my normal driving route, knowing that some of my very best friends live just down the street—all these realities make change a bit worrisome.

So, what must we do when we can’t change the inevitable?  Quite simply, we pray and we trust our Creator. 

God is the author of our story and is still writing the chapters.  We must TRUST, ask for guidance and live bravely. Ask yourself, “What is my purpose? How can I use my gifts to help others while also feeling personally fulfilled?”  For sure, it’s not as easy as it sounds, but it’s a CHOICE.  We can learn from the changes, grow emotionally stronger and even get excited about certain transitions. Yes!  Or, we can whine “whoa is me,” sink into a pit of despair and depression, and be convinced that life’s struggles are just too much to bear.  But again, it’s a choice. Seek God through prayer. Seek the assistance of a mental health counselor. Consider safe medication if it’s suggested to you. Let your guard down and talk to a close friend. Oh, I wouldn’t trade my tribe of female friends for anything! They’ve cried with me, laughed with or at me, and reminded me often, “Angie, this too shall pass.”

Find peace in the realization that needing help makes you NORMAL. 

Regardless if you’re smack in the middle of a big change or anticipating one just around the corner, know that you have the strength to bloom again, beautifully.  Just as the leaves of our aspens prepare to turn gold and fly in the wind, I must remind myself that it’s always necessary. Our trees must stand dormant and steady themselves in preparation for a glorious spring.  

Prepare your heart for change, dear friend. There's great blooming in your future.

Brightest of Blessings,

Angie

PS. Check out our newest Full Bloom Ring or Full Bloom Earrings.  Wear them as a reminder that the changes you're enduring will lead to beauty and peace from within!